Dragonball: Evolution – 2009
Take a childhood memory; a movie, a toy, a song, or most appropriately here, a television show. Now imagine everything you loved about that nostalgic pastime and then envision a lucky break where you were asked to direct a brand new movie adaptation of that piece of your history. And finally, ask yourself, so you think it possible to remove every single aspect that made that memory so special? Could you do it? Would you, as a fan, be literally capable? Well the people behind Dragonball Evolution certainly managed too, as they manage to drain every iota of fun, charm or wit out of a much loved series.
Back when I was young I always found a great deal of fun to be found in the anime import Dragonball Z. I was by no means a diehard fan; I watched only the first few seasons and even as a grade-schooler I could pick out consistent pace issues and gaps in logic. But yet, it was goofy, bloody, wildly inappropriate fun. It would stand to reason a director could draw at least some of the spirit of the Dragonball universe by simply watching the shows or reading the sources material and yet James Wong (who also directed The One and Final Destination 1 and 3) manages to do just that; change fun into camp, over-the-top violence into PG rubbish and alter any of the interesting back-story and lore of the series into an unwatchable tedious origin story.
Perhaps I am missing the mark hugely, but vibe of the film is all off, and I assure you I am not an adaptation Nazi, nihilistically picking out every detail not identical to the source material but I just kept uttering under my breath "What IS this?!?!" To that end I am not sure who this film will impress. It will surely not draw in new fans, and as you may have gathered, I am of the impression fans will not be too thrilled either. The opening half of the film is droning, tedious schlock, which then gives way to ridiculous camp, which finally falls into an at least half-successful final act. There is also the possibility that Dragonball will simply never work as a live action adaptation, the anime medium just suits the feel and bizarre pleasure of the story and characters.
The plot (a term I use loosely) is beyond excusable and consists merely of young warrior Goku (the fresh faced Justin Chatwin), his master Roshi (a mildly entertaining Chow Yun-Fat who must be strapped for cash) a feisty gun-slinger named Bulma (Emmy Rossum) and a creepy hippie conman named Yamcha (Joon Park). Joining forces, they seek to collect 7 mystical Dragonballs, which when brought together grant their holder one wish. But on their trail is the evil Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) and an assassin (Enriko Tamura). The plot suffers further from the bit part from Piccolo which leaves the story with barely a central antagonist, and the plodding pace, unforgivable dialogue and general lack of momentum compile into just a pile of shit.
The final battle finally brings out the style of fighting most fans are accustomed too, but it's too little to late and an insane twist involving Goku is beyond cringe-worthy. The only thing Dragonball Evolution is good for curing is a leg cramp, because 10 minutes of this film and your legs will be involuntarily shuffling out of the theatre.
© 2009 Simon Brookfield
